title goes here

the-haiku-bot:

dovahdez:

earthnicity:

roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it:

my-sisters-eyeball:

maradaisykat:

tree-of-blue-squirrel:

onfirelikegasoline:

becketts-one-and-done:

miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon:

onwardwall:

thegingerbalrog:

my-fandom-life:

dismantlerepaired:

whereismystrawberrytart:

hikingnerd:

timelordpillbug:

follovved:

amerlcanapparel:

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

When Russia sends you nudes

#what the fuck happened here

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

reblog it, because Russia can´t

Thanks Obama 

Wtf

When Russia makes this post illegal

I HAVE ONLY SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS

I will reblog this every goddamn time I find it on my dash

I will reblog this

every goddamn time I

find it on my dash

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

(via greywrenn)

steelplatedhearts:

steelplatedhearts:

the hotel I’m staying in is having a chihuahua conference??? some lady told me there were over 300 chihuahuas in the building and if I wanted to, I could go watch the puppy competition in the morning. I’m in Heaven

this is the best day of my life

(via acrookedmouth)

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

and here’s your annual reminder that jack-o’-lanterns were a tradition irish immigrants brought to the u.s., where (widely available) pumpkins fell into use over turnips & other root vegetables

(personally i regret this switch, as it means many of us missed the opportunity to grow up seasonally surrounded by friendly faces like these:

)

(via prismatic-bell)

fleethall:

shhh they’re sleeping

(via impostoradult)

kebriones:

Throw back to when I posted this on twitter with a comment about how completely stupid it is that if your boobs are a specific shape they’re deemed inappropriate or inherently sexual and I had people telling me how much the message resonated with them and how misogyny sucks, followed by “ I couldn’t hit like and I’m dming you about it because i have minors following me”

Like, my friend I don’t think we’re on the same page actually.

(via dovesndecay)

listen-to-the-inner-walrus:

so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

…which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like “move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you.”

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

…and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for “how much did i really fuck up?” and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

(via vaspider)

selkypostergirl:

Hot queer spaces tip: never trust any spot that has fewer than 2 fat and hairy people present!! You have no idea what other problems the space has if they can’t even meet the bear minimum

(via dovesndecay)

everythingfox:

We must be respectful of all languages

(via hummingbirdcas)

westernwitchy75:

rainbowriderjt:

Now This Is Dancing!

❤️‍🔥

(via wilwheaton)